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Weight

Wait!

I have a better one!

(Actual) Story Time.

It’s one for the senses.

Today, we will hear the story of how I almost fainted in the steam room.

It happened this afternoon after my workout.

It has never happened before.

Usually, I like to pace in the steam room, which only works when there aren’t others in the steam room.

There were two other people in there today, so I just had to stay still.

After a while, it began to feel better than it usually does, like I was in a bath.

My face was lifted to the ceiling.

And my Head Stopped Working.

Everything above my neck went black.

 I couldn’t see,

I couldn’t hear.

I felt myself slowly sliding down the wall with my right hand.

My legs slowly bent,

and I felt myself sitting on the edge.

It happened so slowly because my body took over.

It was crazy.

I sat down lightly, not knowing that I could sit back, so I sat there on the edge, teetering, not knowing if I should try and stand back up.

I had forgotten myself and my surroundings.

When the Video CAME BACK

I still had no idea where I was for a few seconds. 

“Oh, Shit.” I said, and then “Excuse Me”(which is usually “Pardon Me”, but a bitch was coming back into himself) before getting my dumbass out of the heat.

I don’t think they knew.

Today!

A few hours ago.

Don’t die, bitch.

We need you.

Could’ve eaten it TODAY!

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Motive

I really wanted to have another crazy dream, and, frankly, it was greedy. Yesterday left me feeling like I hadn’t in years. I woke up looking better than I have in months. It was wild. Revitalizing.

It was so good.

Because it felt good, I wanted more… classic.

He wanted a Red Dream is what he wanted; with the thoughts, he was thinking before bed and HAD HE LET IT HAPPEN NATURALLY, it might’ve gone the way he hoped. It did not. No dreams, at all, just like when he’s unhappy or understimulated. It’s alright. He did want more, wants them back, nightmares and all. It’s fine. It’s a process.

I didn’t dream last night or don’t remember because of exhaustion.

Exercising will help. He said in the same tone you use right before you hang up on someone.

This week has been weird. I thought yesterday was Monday, and it was not.

Also, yesterday, I woke up and flew to write out something I could see, so it didn’t disappear on me. As far as what would be considered productive work was neglected.

Story Time

I loved working at The River Nile in Dothan, AL. It was my jam. I liked most of the people, and the bosses were totally bearable.

After a few weeks in the kitchen, they stopped with the queer shit. I started at dishwasher and worked my way to salads. I learned a lot about presentation that never made it to my cooking, which is nothing worth mentioning. I loved working there and did not feel exploited.

I wanted to put on that ladybug costume… that’s why it was so good. I almost died of heatstroke, but it was fun. I was 18, it was fun.

ANYWAY, so I start to feel comfortable with everyone. Good kitchens are like that.

They hired a man I did not “gel with”. He was recently released from vacation, which was not a problem for me. This gentleman treated me normally until I told him I was gay because he asked the girlfriend that I never said I had. What he really means is that this man would go on to use the term “Fag” when standing too close.

The Boss (Head Chef), who was a sweetheart, told him to shut the fuck up.

It was fantastic. I just kept my eyes forward and my mouth shut.

I know men.

His speech got worse and worse and the aggression began to move into his limbs.

OHHHHH YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH

There were four of us standing shoulder to shoulder on the line across from

1, 2, 3, 4,

You’re behind us,

I am number 2. He is number 1.

Number One’s job is to plate the salad and pass it down, or pass a bare plate if no salad is ordered.

He started shoving these dishes at me,

And I knew it was coming.

I remained silent.

The boss began to see what was really happening and called me out. He said, looking at me

“I know what he’s doing.” FUCK. It is the only time I have ever yelled at a boss, and it was because he caught me off guard.

“WHY DID YOU SAY ANYTHING?!”

I immediately apologized and proceeded to lose my shit speaking directly ahead and becoming more solid.

I was waiting on him to cross the line and touch me, and he was going to, was about to do so and I was going to fucking break it down. I wanted him to try me.

The boss kept it light, but

I went off for a good 5 minutes and when I was done I told him to his face that there were worse things than prison.

It wasn’t long after that I worked my way to waiter but it was ruined from that moment on.

Letting people get away with that, and lets be real it is mostly men, letting them even say that hate shit around you and not calling them out is the issue. It isn’t the one word that is a no no. It’s all of it, the whole piss-poor attitude, but whatever.

WHY DID YOU SAY ANYTHING?

It was under control.

You wonder where that person is when you want him, but it is only ever there when you need him. It is for the best as I am always angry. I always have been. Angry? Not angry, just fed up.

BY THE WAY,

Men who have been to prison are openly respectful of this.

What even was that? I KNOW!!!

Doesn’t matter.

Only a weak-minded man could think he could draw strength from foul language, but whatever.

Only weak men go around insulting others in the FIRST PLACE, but whatever.

Just… thinking about all the times I was homicidal. You know, like ordinary people? It was literally one other time and I didn’t want to kill someone as much as watch them die.

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C.D.

Last night, I had a crazy dream.

First, the air all around was lit the blue-gray color of sunset. The feel at first was certainly more horror. Some crazy shit was happening, or had happened and we were trying to stop it or prevent it from happening. I don’t know.

Also, at the beginning of the dream I was merely an unseen observer, not a character.

At first it was all spaceships, even though we were on Earth. It felt like we were in California somewhere. I’ve never been to California, but there it is.

Inside this story was a story about two people. Two men who loved each other but couldn’t make their friendship work at that time and in that place.

One was blonde and pretty, the other an intense brunette. All through this story I was with one or the other while each raced to fix the issue.

The colors in this dream were very early 90’s Lisa Frank. Lots of Pink, Orange and Yellow.

This dream spanned years and huge distances. One minute we were on Earth, the Next somewhere in Space.

What became clear was that it was some type of Body Snatcher Situation and the final battle was starting.

We were in some kind of warehouse.

Now I am able to participate and we are checking this places for Host.

Two Human’s disappeared for just a moment and we found them in the process of being taken.

They (THEM) had a sense of humor about it and basically said, “I knew better than to try right now.”

Suddenly, I am on a beach watching the last of them fail to take over a Host.

While these things are drawing to a close,

I see a spaceship flying beside the Golden Gate Bridge,

And I can hear the two friends finally communicating. They are now in a spaceship.

One says, “I finally did this”

Leading the other to say, “I got my skin smoothed out”

When we pan out one says to the other,

“Sorry I didn’t call you for 15 years.”

AND BAM, Back to the

TO THE OUTRO VOICEOVER, PERFORMED BY THE OTHER-

The Message was not one of anger but of disappointment and contrition.

In fact, for some reason,

The Other had made arrangements for us to go to a new world, far away where we would be free to live as we could not here. There was the smell of magic to it. Past a far away sun, near the edge of the universe.

This dream was ALL OVER THE PLACE, LITTERALLY.

It was all night, with an intermission when I had to urinate.

I woke UP tired.

I don’t know, I can identify some of it, but no, I do not know.

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Present

To this day,

Straight people treat me one way,

Then another when they find out I’m gay.

 

What is that?

My entire life.

I have learned that whatever their reason is, just let them go. Unless they are important to you, who cares what they think?

This reaction from a loved one is a fucking betrayal.

Did you trust them?

Did you do your best to conform?

You know how some people like to say not everyone can be saved?

Some people never change.

You are fine. Are you alive?

Do you know who you are?

Then you are winning.

You will come out on top, and they will look like the idiots they are.

Don’t let anyone hurt you and that includes mistreating you.

Excuse me,

But you don’t owe anyone a damn thing,

Especailly letting someone weaponize and aspect of your nature against you.

Don’t give them anything,

Don’t let them accuse you of dishonesty.

You’re alright.

Fight Back.

Anything that comes at your optimism must be destroyed.

Mine was a close part of my being. I may not be a happy person, but I am optimistic. I have always been optimistic about the future. Although the last few years have been dreadful, I remain optimistic.

It works.

That shit never goes away though. It is everywhere.

They had it right the first time. You were worthy of their respect before they got smart and you’re worthy of it regardless of their personal preferences, if they are so damn proper, is what it is.

Many times, you earned that respect, I know, fuck them.

 

I have to go to sleep.

Don’t feel broken though, you’ll always be a little mad.

Maybe not.

I have always been a fed-up old person and I always will be.

Get some rest, you will feel better.

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🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

David Archuleta came out. I was waiting on that.

You mean “Should’ve Won?”

Should’ve Won came out.

I don’t think I knew how much I needed that.

You mean instead of that Angel,

It was a vampire looking sucker?

YES!

I KNOW!!

I’m behaving.

He was so cute, I was so bothered.

He is 31!

When did that happen??

Breathe!

It’s fine,

He’s fine.

I like when they seem to be good people.

Aren’t you glad you waited around? He is.

Be nice.

It could’ve never happened.

Most of the time, it doesn’t.

Is so.

It is so.

Yes, it is!

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Heal

I got a juicer this year.

I am never going back!

You can’t afford not to, is what it is.

When you are rinsing out a glass that has had natural juice in it, you can just use water and it comes right off.

If you rinse out a glass that had soda or store bought juices in it, the side is always grimey,

That was all it took.

Get you a juicer, please.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I always hated eating vegetables before I got healthy. Even now that I like the taste, it is hard for me to get the amount of vegetables I need. The juicer makes it easier. 

Right now I’m working off spinach, pears and pomegranates.

It’s amazing, I just keep winging it and it keeps turning out, I must be a natural. …You like that?

The juice needs to be green.

You are not slick,

GREEN.

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First

Happy New Year.

It was 80 freaking degrees today.

The world is dying while our leaders fuck up after fuck up.

I cannot.

I refuse to let this year be shit.

Not in this trailer park. Not Today.

First of all, you can do whatever you want.

You just have to be ruthless and strong, which you should be anyway.

If you are here you have to be tough. That means a million things.

Kinda wish I could find the right ice shield that would keep this bitch cold in the SUMMER and not tank the whole thing but you know what they say about wanting.

Be great to sunbathe but we have flaming polar bears…so don’t please.

We’re inside bodies here.

Even the hot springs are under ground.

Best not to overthink it.

Hot Drinks are Free.

Kinda wanna bring your own food though.

He doesn’t eat.

Happy New Year.

I have no idea what I am doing this year.

*Insert Mad Laughter*

This year CAN be better.

Fuck them.

(How??

HOW WAS THAT ONE WORSE?)

Doesn’t matter

We are Moving On.

Is What We are doing.

Have you seen I saw the Devil?

That was something.

What about Misha and the Wolves?

Monica, what the Hell?!

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Last Night

I was in Chicago, which is funny because I’ve never seen it. Chances are it was some urban spot I saw that was playing Chicago.

There was a Sporty Spice-type with long dark hair that I had a conversation that I cannot remember.

 

Later, I was in another place.

There was a team of us traveling around looking for something.

 

I don’t know how to explain it but that it felt like it was in the southern hemisphere. There was a group of us and we were looking for someone.

 

I was dropped through a square hole in the top of a building.

 

The lip had runes all around it.

 

Inside, you could see the runes on every surface.

 

There was something dark inside that we needed to help us.

 

I remember seeing the outline of something that resembled Loki’s Father from Thor.

 

It was alright.

 

It’s been a minute since I could carry it back with me.

 

Very Soul Eater meets A Necessary Evil.

 

That one was cute. I wish I had seen more.

 

 

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O

I Am thinking.

Of shaving my head.

I’ve had the same hair a little too long.

I never do anything with it.

Last night might have been the decider.

You know who is worth a gillion dollars?

Jason Statham.

I know.

Good for You, Honey.

I didn’t even watch those movies because I felt like they were testosterone-traps.

So much money without a wig

So much money.

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AAANNNDDD

It is the FATHER that determines the Height of a child.

FUCK!

And I’m understanding the looks my Mother’s Brothers used to give my Dad.

Which is FUCKING RIDICULOUS IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

She could be Brienne of Tarth and it would not matter my master plan is FUCKED!

I really needed giant babies but they’ll be a small as me.

I was VERY LITTLE.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE.

I guess I’m just not having babies.

I do have a Brother, now.

A tall brother Now

A tall, skinny brother now.

With my eyes.

NO.

I’m behaving.

“I did not sabotage your birth control, that’s insane. So funny!”

But he would know.

I also have a Sister that is exactly the same as me.

With Big Brown Eyes.

We don’t talk about Them.

We try not to think about Them.

I knew I might not have babies in the regular way.

I sure don’t have any money.

2 people, in the middle of a doomed universe that I would do anything for.

It’s so stupid.

3.

DAMT IT.

WEAK!!!

FOUR!

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Looking Back

I knew I was most likely British

Yes.

93%

Irish?

Whatever.

I think English, my Grandfather says Irish, but I think it’s because he finds the English embarrassing. Whatever. We are who we are.

Scotch?

I DON’T EVEN care ANYMORE

I KNOW it’s not the same thing don’t freaking start.

Where nearly 5% Scandinavian came from? I do not know.

And a 1% chance of being a Ginger,

Ain’t, THAT a Bitch?

First of all, that’s what I get for looking

0% Native American, 0% Asian, just… Dead Eyed Cruelty. I really wanted one of those, no kidding.

I swear to God all I can think of is babies. With a dark eyed tall person who has a shot at giving that child a chin, but we are behaving.

Anything past 90 I feel is funny, I don’t why.

And now I have to do the Ancestry bullshit and find out who these turds were-

HINT

The Women of my Family did this.

They did this.

They’re mad I’m broke but pretty damn pleased with who I am.

The men can kiss it, I do not care.

Do NOT CARE. They get plenty of attention.

Warrior Princess or shut the fuck up.

It’s like when I got excited that there was a Pokemon named Chansey

And then THIS struts out-

WITH A NURSE’S CAP

She is not striking fear in anything but POUND CAKE.

I am behaving.

The first time I felt at home in America was in New England.

Makes sense.

What was I saying?I

Oh!

No Known Serial Killers

No Known Serial Killers

No Known Serial Killers

Break!

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My Name, Episode 2 (Recap)

This episode opens right up with a fight between Ji-woo and Gang-jae, and it is fantastic. At the end of the first episode, a free-for-all cage match ends with them about to get it on. WHAM. The choreography for this series is out of sight. During this scene, we see nothing held back from either character. What we do see are little flashes of Gang-jae’s true nature in his facial expressions. I thought that was just who he became when he fought. Ummmm. Who’s going to tell him?

Alright, so, she lands him with this sweet spinning-elbow swing, right to his teeth. She knocked him out! You could hear his ears ringing.

When he woke up, and his friend started the humiliating jokes, we knew where it was going. Because that is how it starts. When she APOLOGIZED TO SOOTHE HIS PRIDE, and he didn’t con-grat-u-late her, we knew where this was going. And there it is, there’s the smile.

Gang-jae decides that since Ji-woo beat him like a rug that he’s going to rape her. He had premeditated this by drugging her water. The one guy who spoke out was called a sissy. Next thing, Gang-jae and buddy are in her room. Ji-woo comes half-awake while buddy is trying to undress her, and Gang-jae is sitting there, smiling. She manages to sit up but is pushed down by Gang-jae, who says the standard pervert lines. She knocks buddy off her, and he falls into the shelf holding her Father’s ashes, and everything comes down, shattering. I thought she was going to kill them. Grabbing up a sharp piece of the urn, she shoves it right into buddy’s tenders when he tries to kick her. It was so good. That’s why we keep our parts to ourselves.

This scene was giving me A+ Horror Movie vibes. It was not just the lighting or the expressions. When he came out holding that hammer, the AIR was enough to make you forget she wasn’t about to die. He falls on her, but she sticks his right in the goo (that is what we call gut) before he can kill her.

Later on, in his office, Mu-jin stands before a kneeling Gang-jae. He holds a sword and says, Face, Arm, Leg. (OH, you are SCREWED, buddy-ro.) He gives him the option of which he wants “mangled”, which is broad. Mu-jin knew that Ji-woo would be attacked at least once, but he didn’t think it would be Gang-jae. And he cuts that pretty face.

What we see next is some very mature handling of trauma, with Ji-woo crying it out.

When Tae-ju confronts her about it, she shrugs it off.

There is a killer montage where we see Ji-woo join the police with a time jump from then to now, and the debut of the sickest haircut you’ve ever seen.

Ji-woo is now in the Violent Crimes division, but we see her breaking up a drug deal. Enter Pil-do. WHOOOOOOOOOO. He’s alright, I guess.

Ji-woo tries to detain one of the suspects but is stopped by Pil-do

Next thing I remember, Mu-jin strolls up on a traitor-looking more than alright with that beard. Whaaat? Should’ve gotten a Tesla, but what do I know? That’s only funny if you’ve seen it.

In the next scene, we find out Gi-ho, the man in the hoodie, is (dun dun dun) the CAPTIAN of Narcotics! (GIVE IT TO ME. Icona Pop! I LOVE IT!…..Apologies)

Ji-woo gets on the team. When Ji-woo tells Mu-jin the news, he presents her with his knife. We see a flashback where Dong-hoon saves Mu-jin and Tae-ju.

Pil-do is interrogating their suspect when 🎶There she goes just-a walking down the street🎶But who just got transferred, though?

You think it’s over, right?

IT IS NEVER OVER!

Of course, they are partners, and he is annoyed, and she is phenomenal; let’s do this.

Pil-do tells Ji-woo to go inside this building and bring out a man named Mango.

Ji-woo walks into this building, and security gets fresh with her. He throws her up against a wall, and she grabs her riot-wand and lets him have it. Backup arrives, and it is a brawl. It was a hallway full of “Not Tonight”. Pil-do walks down a runway of busted security guards. The last shot is of Ji-woo and Pil-do making eye contact while she is bruising Mangoes.

It’s one of those shows you can’t stop watching.

My Name is streaming on Netflix.

Daughter of a gangster who will stop at nothing to avenge one of her Parents?

Check Please!

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Dreamland

Yesterday, I did everything I meant to do except nap and meditate.

They are so important.

Do you sleep well?

I’ve never been the best sleeper.

Here’s to getting it right tomorrow.

Don’t you make fun of me.

No-you-are old.

Stay Safe, Please.

Have a good weekend.

Eat something greasy, I will not tell.

Are you ready for this?

I never played Kirby on SNES.

I was a fan of the cartoon.

So basic. Heaven help me.

I LOVED HIM.

He could fly!

He was so sweet until you went there.

The first time I played as Kirby it was on the original Smash Brothers and I loved him more.

EEEEE!

Good NightDay.

Of course the hammer is my favorite, it is so funny!

WhaM!

I said Good NightDay!

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Ruff Rider

This book is amazing.

You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey (2021) by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar

Should NOT be the first book I’ve read like this.

It was not what I was expecting.

You think, 20-or-so essays about a specific-

THERE ISN’T ENOUGH SPACE!

It’s incredible.

If you can, get the hardcover and audio editions.

Omaha.

The Amber Ruffin Show airs tonight at 9P.M. EST

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Yesterday,

I went at that workout.

Today, my right tricep is on fire.

Because being healthy is pretty new to me, I still have to deal with some baggage from my former lazy thinking.

I have had arthritis since I was 25.

Basically, it’s

Do I want to be perpetually sore?

Or

Do I want my body to turn against me?

It’s fine.

The first thing.

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Stars

In Breach, I spoke to one aspect of growing up homosexual. Today I’d like to talk to those who are struggling to bear it.

 

People who grow up next to culture or large cities have a different experience on the whole. Of course, there are those in cities who have it much worse, I am speaking generally.

 

Gay kids in small towns have to deal with a different level of ridiculousness.

 

I actually had a girl I thought was my friend tell me that I was gay because I was possessed by a demon. She was a “new convert”, and I had grown up Baptist. Don’t tell me I am possessed by a demon; I find it offensive.  The statement upset me. And when I tried to calmly explain myself to someone who called me a sinner on our SMOKE BREAK, and she still didn’t listen, I gave up on her completely. Of course, by then, I didn’t believe in demons anyway. 

 

 

 

ANYWAY-

The List
(When there are no other options)

Unless you are Straight Passing-

Don’t let anyone hear you sing.

Don’t let anyone see you dance.

Learn to defend yourself however you can.

Know that you are strong.

Try not to talk.

Never let anyone touch you.

Stay away from whorish or “complicated” straight men.

Learn to parrot the straight men around you, particularly the “soft” ones.

Don’t tell anyone.

You have to wait.

When you can, get out.

Don’t tell anyone. If they don’t straight out betray your confidence, they will tell someone else who will.

If they make you tell lies, be the best at it. You will live Honestly later.

Never lie to Yourself.

Learn everything you can about your surroundings and blend.

Don’t let them send you away.

Running should be the last thing you do without resources.

One Day, You’re going to Wreck the Closet

Don’t Let Them Hurt You.

Just maintain as best as you can. You’re fine the way you are; some people just haven’t come around yet. I know it doesn’t make it better.

We see you.

Fight Back.

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A Day

First,

He could barely do three of these

Yoga is not his favorite. It is so good for your body, he isn’t graceful, don’t stand to close.

Then, he Polished off an Apple.

Oh, Snapple

He Never eats enough of the right stuff.

Next, He Went to the Barbershop.

Left Looking Like-

Woof

Came back looking like-

Boop

He has got to sleep better, but alright.

He fell right off that diet-

Good Stuff. Those fries were not on brand, but yes, I ate all that clucking chicken.

It has been time for Tea-

Cheers to You.

People should get more than the weekend.

Drives are fun, right?

I hope the rest of Your day is good to You and that Your weekend is great.

Thanks for stopping in.

💜⚡

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Drop

I’ve already grown used to writing in a decent word processor again and it has been a decade since I had one.

I know I could’ve gotten one between then and now, but you know how it is, you think I’ve got this, and WordPad ain’t so bad. It wasn’t so good either.

(Was I the only one who freakin’ loved WordPerfect?)

However, you get there is your business, and the most important thing is to write.

He should’ve known better and gotten his shiz together way before now. Yes, Mother, I know, thank you. I forgot how much I like to make the whole thing pretty. I’ve been hacking away at the page when I know better. That’s not who I am anyway. As mean as he is, he is incredibly delicate.

He likes it when his words look pretty.

That’s alright

He has this foolish notion that he can save people grief if he states something correctly. (…?)

Please don’t waste the amount of time He did.

Prioritize Your Work.

Because You Are Worth It.

It is finally Autumn, you guys.

I’m wearing it out this year. Join Me, Won’t You?

Quest

When it comes to death and the afterlife, I can admit that I am unsure. I don’t know if there is such a thing as an afterlife. Or an immortal soul. (There is no such thing as death if this a Simulation.)

At one point in my life I was such a true believer in Christianity that I had zero fear of death and zero uncertainty that I would go to Heaven. I knew that I would give up my life to save someone else’s.

The memory of that chills me.

Because my own wants and my own life meant nothing to me.

Some of you will understand why. It’s not that I believed In something wrong it was that I was manipulated into doing so, and later used by the Baptists to further their agenda.

It’s funny how they can dare speak of a gay agenda when their dirty little fingers are in everything from Politics to Junk Food Production, but alright.

I do believe in something more, something other than the randomness and isolation of our lives, but my faith may be baseless. It feels real and genuine, but who knows?

When you put together that we are heading in one direction it makes you wonder.

“If I die” What you meant was “When”

Shit! Who are you tellin? Why I’m still mad the Rapture never happened and They just left me down here to burn with the rest of yo- .

What I meant to say was “TeamWork!”.

Remember when we went through most our existence killing the shit out of each other before anyone could grow wise enough to stop it?. And it just keeps happening? Remember when 30, then 50 were the end of the road? Remember letting people halt medical breakthroughs because science is inherently evil?

America broke my fucking heart.

It’s not the so-called religion

It’s knowing that most of the people who look like me are vile.

The things they believe, about this life and the people in it would turn your stomach.

Whoever you are, whatever you believe, know that everyone wonders. Don’t drive yourself crazy looking for answers you will never find. He said, knowing he is a damn hypocrite. He is the worst about doing that.

I’ll give you something new.

You know what would suck? Being the only ghost that ever existed and just having to hang there until the universe falls apart. OH! No Higher Power, No company, just you. Until BOOP.

 

Did I think the Rapture would take place before I’d have to experience death? I did. Most Baptists and Assembly people do. Then, you learn that the church uses Revelation and (usually) regionally held beliefs on Armageddon to keep their members in line.

You want to think it matters, all of it, the person you are, your motivations, your choices, but it’s hard to ever really know.

I am a live-wire, like many of you. I’m grateful for every moment I get.

You kinda just hope for the best.

Cosmic Latte

Look up why it is relevant to this subject and thank me later.

Raw

Can you guess what my favorite part of Tiger King was?

It’s easy if you know me.

Since I was very young I wanted a jaguar as a pet.

Jaguars are not pets.

They are my favorite.

It’s a Black Jaguar, it has always been a black jaguar.

THEY EAT ANACONDAS.

Natures “I Wish You Would.”

Snow Leopard is a VERY close second, but I think they are all deat.

I don’t even like zoos.

Aquariums aren’t terrible.

Sea World is Wet Tiger King.

I was in a bad place when I started this episode. Season 2 Episode 4.

Oh My GOD THAT MOTHERFUCKER JUST KICKED AN OWL!!

Hold up.

This is insane.

-Busted Garth Brooks and his Bisexual Vibe.

-Iron Man he is not. I did not like Her. If you’re constantly keeping people in line violent words, the become less effective. People like that work on my nerves, those animals are miserable.

Are you a Preserve? Then shut the fuck up.

Western

We are headed out west.

Washington Coast

125 Acres

3 residences

Way too much Money.

You love it.

This is the Guest House
Do whatever you want with it, you know I don’t care
She is very Cute
You could film a movie

I’m not showing it to you…yet.

This
Is now a Wedding Venue ($$$)
and I better not hear a thing about it.
A Workshop
“I don’t know what that is…”
We’re putting a tub here.

Are you ready?

We’re going in.

The Main House
Normal McAverage

And-

BAM!
BAM!
BAM!
Wear Them Out for their Doubt
Show Them Who You Are
It has been SO long since I had a decent bath. Years. (Don’t you cry, Bitch, you better pretend you’re fine.)
Rolling in the grass like a child
Where are we?
Washington or Norway?
There We Are.

Thank You for Stopping By.

You Rock.

Seriously, go to sleep.

Or Wake Up!

Whatever.

Thank You.

⚡️☣︎💜

Marblehead

Tonight we are going to

New York

8 Acres

Join me, won’t you?

I see you, Fierceness
She is a Pretty Girl
Oh Damn
I like everything but the furniture.
It is so busy, those walls should be CREAM. I’m behaving. You put the RED marble in the DINNING ROOM. Everyone knows that.
I told you I’d get you that Kitchen. If you don’t like it do whatever you like, you know I don’t care.
White would’ve been alright here.
You Got me POOL??!?
So this will look like a war zone for a minute but yes it can be saved. Blue and White? Whatever…
What are we doing with this? because we are NOT. While I grew up in a single-wide, we are not keeping a bowling alley in our home. Two Words- Trampoline Park

Clap On

Clap Off-

We’ll get there.

You don’t know.

Except ours will be prettier, you watch.

Estate

Come with me, won’t you?

We’re going to Virginia.

60 some-odd acres.

I said Hide-and-Seek!
Whhhhaaaaatttt?
Come On
Show Me What You Got
Good Night
I love that, I NEED IT!
those windows!
Eat it, Martha Stewart
Get out of my Room, Please.
DAMN I Love This
This is my Favorite
You was over there and I was over here. That was the deal
Needs to be redone but, the cheekbones
Meet me Outside, Dear
Not in the Garden that the Gods forgot (Without a Wall?)
Not the Garage
Getting Warmer
There We Are

But does it have a Steam Room?

1080

Going into fifth grade my Father married our Stepmother and we moved into the city. Calling Slocomb a city is like calling Dothan “Birmingham”. Trust me, that killed in Alabama.

We’d been living on my Father’s bosses property in a trailer that belonged to us.

We had love if nothing else.

When our Stepmother entered the picture, all our lives changed for the better. She was not what you would call “nice”, but She remains one of the best people I know. She is a truly good person, and I can never be mad about it. We fought like hell over some serious shit, but she is not messing around and neither am I. She does NOT get the amount of credit she deserves for making all our lives better just by existing.

I didn’t need Tyler Perry to sound off to know what it was like having an old school person ranting about the bullshit of today, that was my life, and I loved it. (We love you, Tyler Perry.)

She could make you cry from laughing.

Alright, so when my Stepmother found us eating out of that Pizza Hut dumpster- I’m Kidding!

We moved into the city right at the end of 4th Grade.

The weeks leading up to my departure, the other kids tried to convince me to stay. My Parents let us choose. My Brother chose Slocomb, so I chose Slocomb not knowing that it was two campuses.

The kids in my class did everything they could to keep me there. I thought they were being ridiculous and frankly I thought since my housing situation had gotten better that I would naturally be around better people. I didn’t say it.

Slowly, the kids lost their resolve.

They started shutting me out. They wouldn’t play with me. They wouldn’t speak to me.

By the last day I was so irritated that when Mrs. Faye said I could leave I stood up and walked out without a word.

The Second kid in roll call was the only one to look at me in disbelief.

Rustin, I love your country ass.

ALL YOU COUNTRY BITCHES, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Shut up, Chanzy

Me not saying anything was odd. I don’t know why I did it. We were (mostly) friends and most of it was hard-earned on my part.

The Teacher followed me out to the car, because they used to give a shit about you.

She had brown eyes,

“Are you sure?”

I just sat there, and we left.

If I could see what was about to happen, I never would’ve left Poplar Springs, or the CLASS I would’ve eventually Graduated with.

I would miss all of them very much.

They knew everything and loved me.

Don’t take people for granted, is the point of that one.

Down

Where I come from, the laws women’s reproductive health were archaic.

When I was very young the only women who had access to birth control were married women. That is some toxic male bullshit meant to keep Women in line.

What I am sick of seeing are all of these nasty comments like- “You should’ve waited until you got married.”, or more likely, some nasty insult sanctioned by their religious beliefs. Beliefs that they have warped to fit their own opinions.

Because they have been taught to see their bodies and minds as inherently evil, they go around spewing that self-hatred and frustration onto everyone who doesn’t agree with their version of the truth.

Forced Abstinence doesn’t work. Abstinence leads to growing rates of STDs and unplanned pregnancies.

Abstinence cannot account for sexual violence, making women guilty in their own worst nightmare.

Personally, I wish I hadn’t had sex until I got married.

That is a personal preference based on My Experience.

It certainly don’t think it works for most people.

People say, “If you can have sex then you can have a kid.”, without acknowledging that your body is reacting normally to stimulation and it’s perfectly natural and

NOT.

A.

SIN.

We get it!-You’ve been forced to override your instincts and see everything as sinful. That is a tragedy and I’m sorry… you may never recover. That is heartbreaking.

What I am going to need you to do is get your ignorant mitts off the Women’s Healthcare, please.

Thank you, Timothy… That is all.

Men have no right discussing or ruling on Women’s Rights.

Women’s Reproductive Rights are Basic Human Rights.

Beacon

More than once at the Assembly Church, they’d run out of oil in the “fancy” bottle, and they’d break out that Piggly Wiggly Brand Olive Oil.

Yes, they did. Yes, they did!
They absolutely did that-With-the BS Tongues
They scared the hell outta me.
Baptists annoyed me
The Assembly Scared me
Methodists Bored me
The Lutherans almost had me, that drag is fabulous.

I converted at least 50 people. Oh, that one hurts.
I am SCREWED.
No. No.
Because They could have found themselves just fine without my interference and in MANY cases, Their pain would be better treated by FacinG I-T. And I knew that. But he did not. He thought he was helping. And they did keep a tally, now. I brought down the original number because it bummed me out.

Those people never met.
Home Chanzy School Chanzy.

Christian Chanzy was a foul motherfucker.

And I’m only referring to Church shit.

I believe in (for lack of a better word) “God”.
I don’t know anything else.

I don’t wanna hear!

Don’t care.

And if it’s not real?

Well, shit.

Time just keeps rolling…until it doesn’t.

I will see you again.

Fuck it, right?

I spent my early life dedicated to the Christian Church.

It was an escape from home and school.

I had a genuine love and admiration for the Creator.

One Day,
Someone explained that magic wasn’t real.

I said, “What about religion?”

They didn’t say. Or couldn’t convince me once I got started. “Oh, it’s fake.” was my horrified thought. Not that it was all fake, but that my own personal experience was horseshit.
On that dirt road off that county road in the depths of the Alabamian Lowlands.

I knew how crazy the insides of those places got, and excused it because we were family.

Oh fuck.

I could’ve been an acrobat.

I can’t think about it anymore.

Good Lord.

Royal

I just need my classmates to acknowledge that I would’ve won.

Undisputed

I need to hear you say it.

They were all Human, I was only PART Human.

I could survive outside and it was the law, y’all.

It would have been a different movie.

If I had to I would’ve tried to get everyone at once before they realized what was up but I’m sure they want to see people squirm so I’d have to be sweet.

I could go brutal but more likely I’d play the same role I always did until right before I didn’t.

Two Words-

“Right Here.”

One of the Girls could’ve beat me. She would need to be gone quick. If it’s the sequel, I hope we’re partners. I would have MUCH rather escaped but you know they would’ve shot us anyway. Please! No. They would not leave before it was over. THERE’S YOUR FICTION.

You don’t even know, I still love this movie so much.

If you have never, then you better.

Battle Royale, watch the Extended Cut.

It was so good.

It is still good.

Worst. Geography Class. EVUR-Uh!

Gon-e

I met Ron Jeremy at the FAIRFIELD INN in Dothan. There was a Courtyard right next door. …..Budgets.

I had not seen any of his movies but I had seen Orgazmo. (*Have not. Woof)

I knew I recognized him, which I’m sure he gets a LoT. He said, “I’m an actor.” Kinda defensively. I didn’t like him.

He seemed (genuinely) mean.

I am a crazy person, and he freaked me out. And I’m unbothered by Sex Workers or Sex Work. For what it’s worth.

I didn’t know his trade. When he left the desk I just thought he was unattractive in a way that had nothing to do with his looks.

And, by the way, I never asked.

Kirby

My mind lets go of it,

I had a weird dream about a big metal building that was in the snow.

I assume Antarctica.

I was broken and odd. I remembered it initially but I don’t think I got to it quick enough.

I want a good one.

I’m just saying it’s been a WHILE since my last red dream.

Live

I saw these when they came out

JUST STOP THAT TICKING!”

It changed my Life

“How ’bout Some Ice?”

It was with my favorite roommate. We could not get over Her.

My Favorite Comedy is where a normal person is driven to go off.

I love it.

WILL YOU STOP THE CLOCK WHILE I LOOK FOR MY FINGER?!”