The Way Back

When I was between 1st and 2nd grade, I was deathly afraid of the dark. What I mean is- I was so freaked out by darkness that at night I would wander off. I would leave our house and start walking, looking for somewhere to hide. Usually, I would end up in the cornfield behind our house.

For the life of me, I cannot understand my logic. I was scared of the dark, so I tried to hide from it… outside… in the dark(?). My Father was (rightly) freaked out by this. More than once, he ran up on me in a panic. Bobby Joe tried to understand my reasoning and never could. Eventually, it got so bad that I broke his temper over it, probably some night when he had to go find me.

My Father was a good parent but very old world tough in a way people are not anymore, especially when it came to fear.

Anyway, he sat me in a room with no light. It was the main bedroom. I was very vocal about my discomfort(that’s me), but there was nowhere to go and nothing to do but face the darkness. For the first time I could remember, my eyes adjusted, and I could see. I never had the patience to wait and see that things were (exactly) the same as during the day. He was just outside the door and came in once the realization hit me. He told me to remember that there was nothing to it. He said something to the effect of, “It’s always dark somewhere.”…something else I couldn’t grasp, but it made me feel better. Dark wasn’t evil; it just was.

It may have been a bit harsh, but I was often difficult to reach. His way was safer. I was facing my fear my way, but a child needs guidance. My way could’ve gotten me kidnapped or killed in some accident.

Cut to Autumn-Winter of 2010-2011, and I’m living in Mars Hill, North Carolina, right near the state line-where we lived on the side of a mountain. My favorite thing to do was hike, particularly at night, particularly after snow. There is nothing in this world like moonlight on snow. It would be midnight or later, and when the moon hit the snow, it lit up, illuminating everything for miles around. It looked like daytime.

I would have missed out on the most beautiful thing I have ever seen if not for Him.

Standing on top of a moonlit snow-covered mountain is exacly where it is.

Published by Chanzy

No One from Nowhere

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