I had horrible acne. It was so gross and so aggressive that it stayed on my face for years.

The acne came first. By the age of 11, I was getting small pimples that blossomed into a horrific case of acne in the next few years.

Everyone has the solution.

They do not.

You are hormonal and stressed.

All you can do is calm down, and sometimes it is impossible.

Everyone in my life thought that having sex with a girl would “fix it”.

May I just say-

Leave people alone about sex. At all times, but specifically when they are young.

It’s confusing because you are confused or uncomfortable and projecting, and it makes us confused and uncomfortable.


I tried everything in the world.

Nothing works.

Eventually, I stopped going to church, and that cleared up a lot of nonsense for me.

My acne cleared up when I came fully into myself at about 16.

I was having a breakdown in the bathroom with the loud fan on, and I ended up on the floor. At my weakest, worst moment, it felt like the pain would kill me.

Just past that, something inside broke through to light.

It clicked. (It was soaked in religion, but it did happen.)

We are told that God created us straight (normal) and that our sexual desires are wrong. You cannot blame them. It is what they were taught. Most of them haven’t met the gay-m changer yet. Just keep going.

You don’t have to believe that shit for a second, though. Don’t you dare waste your time wondering as I did.

Now, they cannot understand you, and because of that, they will try to diminish you.

If you let it at you as I did- BECAUSE HOW COULD THEY ALL BE WRONG? -it will show up in your body. Sometimes it is in your body and sometimes in your mind but it is always there for you, even after they’ve moved on from their ignorance.

I carry these scars everywhere because of that nonsense.

I was forbidden and rightly afraid.

It would have been worth it.

I’d have died, but who knows, maybe I’d have gotten him before it was over.

Don’t listen to her. She is just furious.

What is ironic is that, in retrospect, he wishes he didn’t do that.

He is the most intelligent person I’ve ever known, and it made me mad that he acted like there was anything anyone could do about it.

We would have had much more fun smoking weed than fighting like Kodak and a jaguar, but whatever.

He’s always known everything except how to make me behave.

I’m kidding. I behaved because I wanted to.

We are okay now. My Family generally acts correctly about and around my Husband.

Being an adult is as fabulous as you think it is and more.

You can eat whatever you want!

If you don’t care how long you live.

You can do whatever you want!

If you don’t care where you live.

Okay, so there are rules, and there is aging, but being an adult is the BEST.

In America, we romanticize childhood, get past our twenties, and act like our lives are over for 50 or 60 years before we die.


Our prime. Our 20s.


I have it on good authority that 35-65 can be the best years of your life. And before you get smart, my Grandfather, so, watch it, sister.

(My idol was Joan. She went out old, rich and on top. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHE LEFT MELISSA? Not enough to keep them from ripping her off. I’m behaving.)

I don’t think people should ever stop willingly.

Fight it.

Fight it, Fight it, Fight it.

I do understand and appreciate the beauty of youth,

When did that become the only kind of beauty?

I’m not young, and I have never been “pretty”. Time can be a good thing. I’m not any taller, but I am getting cuter.

Because I’ve waited my whole life for this right here.

There are all kinds of boss-ass people and experiences waiting for you everywhere all the time.

It’s going to be fine and so are you.

Published by Chanzy

No One from Nowhere

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: