Shower

When I was younger, around six or so, I was in Nightmare Country. I had a nightmare every night. It was terrible, sometimes more than one.

My imagination conjures up some epic shit. Usually, my nightmares came in in separate series’s, like novels. The worst were the ones that wouldn’t go away.

*******

In this set- My Father had sold me to Barbarians.

They taught me through tests.

*

I am in windowless room.

A man stood asking me-

“How can you hurt me?”

I did not answer.

Again, “How can you hurt me?”

After some violence I am asked for the final time,

How can you hurt me?”

……“You have a son…”

The man stopped.

“Named Casey.”

Someone else came out from behind me.

They begin to speak.

“How did you know that?”

*

Another was all violence.

Another Room.

I was put through everything.

In the end, I am worn down, bloodied, and in pain.

I begin to laugh.

He is taken aback.

“You can’t hurt me.”

Why?”

“Because they loved me.”

********

Those were their own set. My poor Father.

That is heartwarming to ponder. That terrifying beast trying to calm me down. Because it’s what good parents do.

He’d ask me again to describe the dream.

And again,

After- Him- “I’d never sell you!” Incredulous and mildly tickled.

Me- “You don’t know!”

He would laugh and I would start crying.

He’d never willingly let me go.

*******

It is all connected, but the pictures and lessons are different.

*******

Later On,

Sonic the Hedgehog was my FAVORITE video game.

The water stages were so stressful it formed a terrible recurring nightmare.

The sun is setting as I fly off a ramp into the sea.

Water with a motion puzzle I could never solve in time,

Where the sound effect was the same as I sank to the bottom.

To the POINT

That when it wouldn’t stop-

I would drown myself immediately rather than let the dream have me.

Eventually, because of this specific dream, I learned how to wake myself up from a nightmare.

It was because of that I even learned I could control some dreamscapes.

That just came back to me.

They should all be that useful.

*******

Now days, when those type of things come to me I am more entertained than anything.

Nightmares hurt so bad.

They can be worth it.

I’ve always paid attention to dreams.

You can learn a lot.

You can also forget.

When I stopped having nightmares consistently I lost access to ability to wake myself up. It is still there, I just can’t hold it in my hand.

Same with the dream control. I never have access to it even though I’m aware of it’s existence.Those are two skills I wish I had ready to go.

Whatever.

*******

Please take care of yourself.

Sweet Dreams.

Published by Chanzy

No One from Nowhere

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