Dunk

Showers are bullshit.

Hear me out!

I hate showers.

It has been years since I had a decent bath. Our tub is worn out, and it was cheap, to begin with, honestly.

Alright, I’m just trying to get there today, alright, so don’t be sensitive.

The people who owned this place before us didn’t care about “nice”. That’s diplomatic.

The kitchen appliances were unclockable… but the bathrooms? Oh my GOD!

WHO TOLD YOU TO DO THAT?

BECAUSE YOU DON’T PUT BIG HONKING SINKS IN TINY-ASS BATHROOMS!

FUCK!!!!

What I meant to say was that I love all people.

The only thing that calms me down (that isn’t expensive) is a bath.

The only thing that comes close is a steam, and public steam rooms are GROSS!

Today I woke up grouchy, tried to bull through it and be good, got my feelings hurt, and now I am LIT UP over this bath thing.

Hey, don’t ever put off renovations. Ever. EVURAH.

We could’ve put all kinds of tubs in this bitch when we moved in, AND A FENCE. I am so fucking mad. I am done with this nonsense.

I KNOW I should be grateful you couldn’t come at Her bone structure with both hands, but whatever.

Do it now or forever wish you had.

I can’t even say, At least the yard is nice because it is NOT right now.

ENOUGH!

When you’re crazy, and you see something coming, and you are disregarded because you are crazy, it drives you crazier.

Oh my God, I used to have a trampoline in my house.

WHAT AM I DOING?!

WHO IS THIS FRUMPY BITCH??!?!

WITHOUT A (real) TUB??

MY COUNTRY-ASS PARENTS HAVE A BEAUTIFUL TUB.

NO!!!

 

So, this one is just a Rant. Sorry about that.

Don’t start with me; I happen to know that a person has to draw COMFORT from their cave, or else it’s incorrect. No, again, as with everything else, I’m mad at myself. It is my fault. If I had cared more, I would’ve gotten it done by now. Yeah, that is all you right there.

It’s fine. He’s fine.

What I meant to say was that I hope your weekend is good.

I have to take a shower. Can you tell that I am jazzed? Woof.

I never cared for Camilla. As if Diana herself told me personally, “We don’t like her.” I don’t know why. Whatever.

So that was kind of funny.

What else?

OH! You have to watch one of those “zipline fail” compilations. How funny is that shit?

There is nothing better than watching someone smack into a tree, especially when they are screaming right before? OH MY GAHD. It is always someone who has the line tight against a tree and no bumper.

Because it’s funny.

You just bail right before you crash is all.

That is so good right now. E-LAB-OR-ATE.

HEY! Don’t kink shame me, now, this a motherfucking safe place.

For me, anyhow.

You love it, and you know that shit is funny.

Try and have a good weekend.

Did a bitch not wake up and try to behave?

He really did.

 

Published by Chanzy

No One from Nowhere

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