Opinion – Page 6 – Chantarctica

Tonight’s Dinner

Will be Sushi. Paired with good company and WATER and I better not hear any shit about it.

If I had a nickel for every time a full-grown person said they’d had sex with me when they did not, I’d have ten cents. ShitNickel #1– was a nasty-old-man-roommate. I rent a room to because he had a VEHICLE and I did not. He flat out lied on me, and his daughter is smilingContinue reading “2 Nickels”

Stranger Things

I can’t watch Strangers With Candy at bedtime. At least once per episode I burst out laughing which is rough when you’re trying to get to sleep. Annnd I’m two hours in. I laid down at 10! 3 hours in… You go to sleep, bitch!

Today’s Breakfast

Will be a protein shake Paired with a fistful of CAP’N CRUNCH And I better not hear any shit about it

The Way Back

When I was between 1st and 2nd grade, I was deathly afraid of the dark. What I mean is- I was so freaked out by darkness that at night I would wander off. I would leave our house and start walking, looking for somewhere to hide. Usually, I would end up in the cornfield behindContinue reading “The Way Back”

Happy Trails

Today, I *finally* made my own trail mix. First time and I freaking killed it. -Mixed Nuts -Dried Cherries -Dark Chocolate Expresso Beans -Jerky Oh my God, you guys. It is so freaking good. ***I wanted dried mango but the kind I got from Kroger should not be legal to sale. That shit was nasty.***

Work It

Last night, I was having trouble getting to sleep(Quiet, DEMONS!)and couldn’t relax until I wrote about it. It was insane how I felt before I wrote vs. how I felt after. It’s my go-to and always has been. Crazy stuff happens and my first instinct is to write it down. I’m not calling friends orContinue reading “Work It”

OUAT II

I could watch the Heart Snatch scene from “Welcome to Storybrooke” on a loop. And the best part ON A LOOP!!! ******* Can we talk?? If you ever need to feel better about your family tree- Henry’s Grandmother is also his StepSister which makes Emma his Mother as well as his StepNiece… “Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!”

Today’s Breakfast

Will be a handful of Raw Kale eaten while standing over the sink, Paired with coffee, antihistamines and supplements… And I better not hear any shit about it.

Antebellum

I’m watching it now, halfway through, fuck those one star reviews already. We aren’t even done-and fuck those one star reviews. It’s worth the price of admission. ***** Drag that bitch like Janelle Monáe. “Thank you so much, Rebecca!” like Gabourey Sidibe. ***** I feel like the only “folks” who want their money back forContinue reading “Antebellum”

Schitty Wok

I love the show I love the show But I call bullshit on the Schitt’s Creek finale and I’ll tell you why- DAVID stopped talking to Patrick-for WEEKS-because he never disclosed a *failed* engagement….(That was never really his business in the first place….) But He gets to let someone use the manual overdrive on theirContinue reading “Schitty Wok”

JK

🎶Rowling Rowling🎶 🎶Rowling down the river🎶 Who knew the “K” was for Karen? Identity is hard, you’d think someone who uses a pen name would be more understanding. I don’t think she has to change her opinion. I think her opinion is wrong. I’m not trying to convince anyone. The idea that trans women areContinue reading “JK”

Discussion

Once there was a man named “Roy”. He had all the qualities I looked for, then. He was sweet, pretty eyes, pretty smile. We broke up because I couldn’t keep driving my Ram an hour to his apartment and an hour back to mine. It was around $45…in 2006. It always felt correct, until weContinue reading “Discussion”

Sou-h Park

Because the “T” is- Eric Cartman is in love with Kyle. Google it. That’s why he never quits. Don’t tell him I said that shit though.

🎶No no no🎶

If men can stand outside bare chested and it not be scandalous then women should have every right and protection to stand outside bare chested. We all have nipples-WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? You asked the wrong one about breast feeding, sister. If I could walk around in briefs and sneakers I would….It would cut outContinue reading “🎶No no no🎶”

Tonight’s Dinner

Will be “Suddenly Salad” (which is neither) Paired with a nothing And I better not hear any shit about it.

Workout Playlist Today

(In alphabetical order because my headphones 🎧 save everything that way, deal with it.🇦🇶) I hate exercise as much as I love not being grotesquely obese. good music helps.

On Robert Pants I

He was also *MARRIED* before he got *FAMOUS*. Robert(aka-Spongebob)Pants* is my ex-husband. I don’t know what the “Square” is about…Hollywood…🙄 He’s a good person…except he’s a freaking enchanted cleaning object. He was the sweetest thing I’d ever met. He saved me from a rip current near Bikini Atoll and I built that stupid fucking tree-dome…likeContinue reading “On Robert Pants I”

Sahara

One thing I never had, or thought I needed, was “good” towels. Many of you had the good fortune to grow up in a house with good towels or you’ve experienced them in hotels. I thought a towel was a towel. This past week, as a last birthday present to myself, I wanted something niceContinue reading “Sahara”

The Best Sandwich

Is a modified chicken club. A big hunk of you favorite bread -Grilled Chicken -Bacon -Pepperoni(Let Me Finish!) -(Light)Pizza style Marina -Cheese Blend -Toast that shit up sexy -Lettuce -Onions(sometimes) -Black Olives -Banana Peppers -Salt Pepper -One line of ranch on the way out 🙏

Ugh

Yesterday, I ate something that did not agree with my (sissy) stomach. Guess who was up at 1 and 3? I’m old. I’m an old man. When I did manage to crawl back into bed I felt a tickle in my nose. What’s that? And my allergies came to visit?? Bitch!! I’m awake Universe, thankContinue reading “Ugh”