I can’t watch Strangers With Candy at bedtime. At least once per episode I burst out laughing which is rough when you’re trying to get to sleep. Annnd I’m two hours in. I laid down at 10! 3 hours in… You go to sleep, bitch!
Will be a protein shake Paired with a fistful of CAP’N CRUNCH And I better not hear any shit about it￼
When I was between 1st and 2nd grade, I was deathly afraid of the dark. What I mean is- I was so freaked out by darkness that at night I would wander off. I would leave our house and start walking, looking for somewhere to hide. Usually, I would end up in the cornfield behindContinue reading “The Way Back”
Today, I *finally* made my own trail mix. First time and I freaking killed it. -Mixed Nuts -Dried Cherries -Dark Chocolate Expresso Beans -Jerky Oh my God, you guys. It is so freaking good. ***I wanted dried mango but the￼ kind I got from Kroger should not be legal to sale. That shit was nasty.***
Last night, I was having trouble getting to sleep(Quiet, DEMONS!)and couldn’t relax until I wrote about it. It was insane how I felt before I wrote vs. how I felt after. It’s my go-to and always has been. Crazy stuff happens and my first instinct is to write it down. I’m not calling friends orContinue reading “Work It”
Will be a handful of Raw Kale eaten while standing over the sink, Paired with coffee, antihistamines and supplements… And I better not hear any shit about it.
I’m watching it now, halfway through, fuck those one star reviews already.￼ We aren’t even done-and fuck those one star review￼s. It’s worth the price of admission. ***** Drag that bitch like Janelle Monáe￼. “Thank you so much, Rebecca!” like Gabourey Sidibe.￼ ***** I feel like the only “folks” who want their money back forContinue reading “Antebellum”
I love the show I love the show But I call bullshit on the Schitt’s Creek finale and I’ll tell you why- DAVID stopped talking to Patrick-for WEEKS-because he never disclosed a *failed* engagement….(That was never really his business in the first place….) But He gets to let someone use the manual overdrive on theirContinue reading “Schitty Wok”
🎶Rowling Rowling🎶 🎶Rowling down the river🎶 Who knew￼ the “K” was for Karen? Identity is hard, you’d think someone who uses a pen name would be more understanding. I don’t think she has to change her opinion. I think her opinion is￼ wrong. I’m not trying to convince anyone. The idea that trans women areContinue reading “JK”
Once there was a man named “Roy”. He had all the qualities I looked for, then. He was sweet, pretty eyes, pretty smile. We broke up because I couldn’t keep driving my Ram an hour to his apartment and an hour back to mine. It was around $45…in 2006. It always felt correct, until weContinue reading “Discussion”
Because the “T” is- Eric Cartman is in love with Kyle. Google it. That’s why he never quits. Don’t tell him I said that shit though.
If men can stand outside bare chested and it not be scandalous then women should have every right and protection to stand outside bare chested. We all have nipples-WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? You asked the wrong one about breast feeding, sister. If I could walk around in briefs and sneakers I would….It would cut outContinue reading “🎶No no no🎶”
He was also *MARRIED* before he got *FAMOUS*. Robert(aka-Spongebob)Pants* is my ex-husband. I don’t know what the “Square” is about…Hollywood…🙄 He’s a good person…except he’s a freaking enchanted cleaning object. He was the sweetest thing I’d ever met. He saved me from a rip current near Bikini Atoll and I built that stupid fucking tree-dome…likeContinue reading “On Robert Pants I”
One thing I never had, or thought I needed, was “good” towels. Many of you had the good fortune to grow up in a house with good towels or you’ve experienced them in hotels. I thought a towel was a towel. This past week, as a last birthday present to myself, I wanted something niceContinue reading “Sahara”
Yesterday, I ate something that did not agree with my (sissy) stomach. Guess who was up at 1 and 3? I’m old. I’m an old man. When I did manage to crawl back into bed I felt a tickle in my nose. What’s that? And my allergies came to visit?? Bitch!! I’m awake Universe, thankContinue reading “Ugh”